The Wizard of Suzaku
by Drachen Yami
Summary: The Wizard of Oz Fushigi Yuugi Style!! Chapter 4 now up!!! I also fixed the credits so they're easier to read. R&R Pretty Please! ^_____^
1. Wizard of Suzaku Credits, and disclaimer

The Wizard of Suzaku  
The Wizard of Oz meets Fushigi Yugi  
A Parody By Drachen Yami and Patti  
  
Starring:  
Nuriko as Dorothy ................. Doriko  
Ashitare as Toto ................. Ashitoto  
Miaka as Aunty Em ................. Aunty Emmiaka  
Tamahome as Uncle Henry .......... Uncle Tamahenry  
Tasuki as the Cowardly Lion ....... TasukiLion  
Mitsukake as the Tin Man ............ TinMitsukake  
Chichiri as the Scarecrow ............. ChiriScarecrow  
Hotohori as the Wizard of Suzaku  
Taiitsukun as Mrs. Gulch ........ Mrs. Gulchkun and The Wicked Witch of The  
West  
Yui as the Wicked Witch of the East  
Subaru as the Good Witch of the North Glinda ......... Sublinda  
Others:  
Tamahome as the Gatekeeper  
Kojie as Doorkeeper of the Wizard  
Tomo as the Evil Bird Monkeys  
Hikitsu and Tomite as Guards  
Tokake as Professor Marvel  
Tama as ... the Tin Man's faithful, but fairly pointless companion  
......Tin Tama  
Emerald City Attendants and supporting Munchkins:  
Tenkou  
Renkou (Ren)  
Misu  
Shoka  
Hokie  
Suzuno Oosugi  
Takiko Oukuda  
Keisuke  
Tetsuya as the Cart Driver  
  
Munchkins:  
Nyan Nyans as the Lullaby League Trio  
Suboshi, Amiboshi, and Miboshi as the Lollypop Guild Trio  
Chiriko as the Mayor  
Hatsui as the Mayor's Advisor  
Urumiya as the second Advisor  
Nakago as the Coroner  
Others:  
Tasuki's Horse as the Horse of a Different Color  
Tatara as the Evil apple Trees  
Soi as the Twister  
  
Drachen Yami as Narrator and author # 1  
Patti as Author # 2  
Original  
Storyboard and Directors:  
Courtesy of the original writers  
Parody version:  
Drachen Yami and Patti  
  
Special Effects and animators:  
Courtesy of Suzaku, Seiryuu, Genbu, Byakko, and Tomo  
  
Costumes:  
Courtesy of Mrs. Hongo and Mrs. Yuki  
  
Stunts:  
Courtesy of the Seishi and their supporting characters as they do their own  
stunts  
  
No animals, Seishi, or Nyan Nyans were actually hurt in the making of this  
story. Sadly, however, the narrator was fried by the Seiryuu seishi Soi at  
the end of this program with lightning, and was also blasted by Tenkou. She  
is now a part of the spirit world. As for Soi, she was committed to a  
mental institution, and was later set up as the primary power source for  
Area 51. Tenkou remained in the institution, and was the subject of several  
experiments concerning spirits. He is currently undergoing psychiatric  
therapy to cure his delusions of Godhood.  
  
Disclaimer and Legal Stuff:  
All of the Characters from Fushigi Yugi (AKA The Mysterious Play) Belong to  
Yu Watase. the characters and story of The Wizard of Oz belong to El. Frank  
Baum, and the directors / company that made the movie(S). The other add-ins  
/ scenes from other anime shows (Martian Successor Nadesico) and movies  
(Robin Hood, Men in tights) and any other incidental references, etc. do  
not belong to us, and were borrowed for comical relief. This story was done  
for entertainment purposes only and not for profit, so please don't sue us,  
as we don't really have any money anyway. ^_^;;;  
This story is what would happen if the Cast of Fushigi Yuugi were put into  
the roles of the actors of The Wizard of Oz  
  
Just a side note: When we did this story, we didn't put Miaka into the  
leading role. We gave Nuriko that honor because we felt that Miaka would  
have been the one that everyone else would have chosen for the leading  
role. We didn't want our story to be like everyone else's would be/are, and  
that's why we put Nuriko into the leading role. ( This was also done for  
comical reasons as well.) 


	2. Prologue to Wizard of Suzaku

Prologue to The Wizard Of Suzaku  
  
The various Celestial Warriors and other supporting characters are backstage putting on their costumes and getting their makeup done. There is a lot of tension in the air as show time draws nearer, and a few of them are upset about their roles.........  
  
Tasuki:: Grumbling:: Chichiri, tell me again why we're doing this. It's stupid!  
  
Chichiri: Because there are a lot of people who like to see things like this, you know.  
And in any case, we have a lot of fans who want to see us in a story like this,  
you know.  
  
Tasuki:: Waving away the Nyan Nyan doing his makeup:: But still!!! I don't see why I  
have to be the Cowardly Lion!! It's degrading! I should get to be someone better!  
  
Chiriko: Like who, Tasuki?  
  
Tasuki:: Grinning:: Like the Wizard of Suzaku, that's who! Everyone  
knows I'm the best suited for the part!  
  
Nakago:: Wearing a dark colored suit and hat:: You were cast for the  
role most appropriate for you, so you should stop complaining.  
  
Tasuki:: Angrily:: And just what's that s'pposed ta mean?!  
  
Nakago:: Doesn't answer, just smirks::  
  
Tasuki: Grrr... I'll fry that stupid smirk of yours right off yer  
face!  
:: Grabs for his Tessan::  
  
Mitsukake:: From where he's getting his farmer's costume on:: Calm  
down, Tasuki. After all, the Cowardly Lion isn't really cowardly...  
he only thinks that he is, and so there is no shame in playing that  
role.  
  
Hotohori: Besides, the Wizard of Suzaku is supposed to be regal,  
powerful, and beautiful..... and so I am obviously the most suited  
for that role.  
  
::Everyone sweatdrops::  
  
Tamahome:: Grumbling:: We'd better be getting paid good money for  
this embarrassment!  
  
Nuriko:: Getting his purple hair done up in Dorothy's pigtails:: Oh,  
you're impossible!!! Is that all you ever think of?!  
  
Miaka: I still can't believe that you got cast for the starring  
role, Nuriko!  
  
Suboshi: There's no way I'm going to go out there as a stupid midget  
and sing some dumb song!  
  
Tasuki to Hotohori:: Exasperated:: Oh, give it a rest already!!  
  
Hotohori: How dare you address your emperor in such a manner?!  
  
Yui:: Dressed in a witch's outfit with green face-paint and a wart  
on her face:: You guys should be happy with the roles you've been  
cast for! You guys at least get to live for more than 5 seconds of  
the movie! I get crushed by a house before anyone sees me! And after  
that, all that they see is my arms!!!  
  
Suboshi:: Holding up his weapon:: Shall I give the authors a taste  
of my Meteor Balls, Lady Yui?  
  
Ashitare:: Growling:: I don't see why you're all complaining... I  
have to play the part of a week little dog!!  
  
Tenkou:: Angry:: I have been demoted from the role of a demi-god to  
the role of a servant!!!  
  
Tasuki: C'mon, Hotohori! I can take ya on any day!  
::Tasuki pulls out his fan and waves it at Hotohori, who has  
drawn his sword. They face off. Suboshi has started looking for the  
authors with his Meteor Balls out and ready to mangle::  
  
Chichiri:: holding up his hands placatingly:: Calm down, you know!  
There's no reason to get so violent and emotional over this, you  
know! All of our roles are important!  
  
::Everyone stops and looks at Chichiri::  
  
Chichiri: Let's not fight, you know! Tasuki, the Cowardly Lion is a  
very popular character! Yui, you have an important role, you know!  
Without the Wicked Witch of the East's dying, the Wicked Witch of  
the West wouldn't have any reason to go after Dorothy! Suboshi, the  
munchkins are also important and well-liked characters so calm down,  
you know!  
  
Tasuki:: Suspiciously:: How come he's defending the author's so  
much?  
  
Tomo: Isn't it obvious? It's because they're girls. He's just trying  
to impress them, although I really don't see why, as girls have  
never held much interest for me.  
::He finishes putting on his monkey costume, and practices  
making doubles of himself with his illusions::  
  
Tasuki: o.O;; Uh... no comment.......  
  
Chichiri:: Turning to them:: I'm not showing off, you know! I'm just  
trying to keep the peace, you know!  
Youthened Tokake: I'm far more appealing to the girls, anyway!  
  
Hotohori:: Scornfully:: I don't see how that could be...  
  
Soi: You're a married man, Tokake... I'd hate to be you if Subaru  
heard you say that...  
  
Miboshi:: Smiling as though he thinks his idea is funny:: Yeah, then  
she'll feed you to Ashitare here!  
  
Ashitare:: licking his lips:: Yes... young flesh is so very  
tender... and I could use something to eat!  
  
Tokake:: Turns pale and shuts up::  
  
Tomo:: Evilly:: What? Nothing more to say? Ha! So you're not so sure  
of yourself after all! ::Laughs his trademark Tomo laugh::  
  
Amiboshi:: Anyway... our roles aren't really that bad.  
  
Tomo: You're the one to talk. You don't have to play the part of a  
bunch of flying apes!  
  
Tasuki: I say we go get Miss Watase to get the authors... she at  
least gave us all good parts. These girls don't know anything about  
casting people! ::Grumbling:: Girls ain't nothin' but trouble!  
  
:: At this point the two authors walk in::  
  
Drachen Yami/Narrator: What was that, Tasuki?  
  
Tasuki:: O.O;;; Jumps:: GAH!!! Don't do that!! You near about gave  
me a heart attack!!  
  
Drachen Yami/Narrator: Good! It serves you right, you pyromanic  
bandit!  
  
Patti/Author 2: We just came in to see how you guys (and girls) were  
doing. Show time is coming up soon!  
  
Chichiri: We're doing just fine, you know! We're almost ready!  
  
Drachen Yami: That's good, I'm glad that everything is going well.  
^_^  
  
Tamahome: When are we getting paid for this, anyway??  
  
Patti: Umm...... ^_^;;;  
  
Chichiri: -_-;;; Would you quit worrying about money for once in  
your life?!  
  
Tamahome: Why should I? Cold Hard Cash...... It's my first love!!!  
After all, money makes the world go rou....  
:: He is interrupted by Chichiri hitting him on the head with  
his Shakujou (staff) , knocking him out::  
  
Drachen Yami: Thank you, Chichiri. ^_^ By the way... the straw of  
your outfit doesn't bother you, does it?  
  
Chichiri:: Cheerfully:: No, it's fine, you know!  
  
Drachen Yami: That's good. ^_^  
  
Tomo:: To the others in a carrying stage whisper:: I think that  
Chichri's buttering up the authors worked... I think that that girl  
has a crush on him!  
  
Drachen Yami: =O.O= ...........  
  
Patti:: Laughs::  
  
Tasuki: Ha ha! No wonder she's here! That also explains why Chichiri  
got one of the leading roles!  
  
Yui: Then I bet the other girl likes Nuriko, right? As he's the  
star?  
  
Patti: =O.O= .............. Uh.....  
  
Drachen Yami:: Stifles a laugh, still embarrassed::  
  
Nakago: Well, if that's the case, then what about you? You have one  
of the leading roles, as well. Does that mean that one of them likes  
you as well?  
  
Tasuki: uh....  
  
Nuriko: Well, if all of this is true, then I have a lot more fans  
than any of you! They must really like me, as I'm the star! ^_^.  
  
::Everyone looks at Nuriko::  
  
Nuriko: And I don't blame them... after all, I'm the strongest, most  
talented and the most beautiful one here aside from his highness!  
^_^.  
  
::Everyone sweatdrops::  
  
Miaka: I thought you gave up on all of that!  
  
Amiboshi: Uhmmm... well... what about Tasuki, then?  
  
Tomo:: Points to the narrator:: Well... as she likes Chichiri....  
  
Youthened Subaru: And she likes Nuriko...  
  
Tasuki: We're not talking about them! What about me?!  
  
Drachen Yami: =o.o= what does it matter, you don't like girls  
anyway, right?  
  
Tasuki: .......  
  
Chiriko: Clearly, they both like you, Tasuki. And the same goes for  
Mitsukake!  
  
Tama: Meow!  
  
Patti: =o.o= Let's just drop the subject for now, ok? The show is  
due to start here soon! We can always discuss this later!  
  
Suboshi:: Stubbornly:: So I take it that if that's how we were cast,  
then you two must not like those of us who were cast as munchkins  
very much!  
  
Patti: Suboshi, we like the munchkins!  
  
Drachen Yami: So chill out, ok?  
  
Suboshi: Why shou....  
  
Amiboshi:: Interrupting:: Brother, we shouldn't worry about it! I  
think they're telling the truth, so we should believe them!  
  
Drachen Yami: Yes. You were cast to either fit your characters or  
for comical purposes. So please relax, ok? So if everyone's  
happy......  
  
Tenkou: Wait a moment! I will NOT play the part of a lowly  
servant!!! I am practically a god for crying out loud, and you cast  
me as a servant?!  
Suzaku: You are not a god, Tenkou... have you already forgotten  
that? We four gods only let you out of your prison so you could have  
a break, and be part of a show for a short time again...so do not  
press your luck, or your punishment will be worse.  
  
Seiryuu, Genbu, and Byakko: That's right... we have had plenty of  
time to think of a new type of punishment for you.... and we can  
guarantee that you won't like it!  
  
Tenkou: O.O  
  
Drachen Yami: It serves you right for what you did to Chichiri,  
Tasuki, Miaka, Tamahome and the others, so just live with it! So  
listen to what they said!  
  
Tenkou: I will no...  
  
Drachen Yami: You WILL! If you don't, I'll have Suzaku turn you into  
one of the monkeys, and you can help Tomo! I'm sure he wouldn't mind  
at all! And you won't be changed back at the end either! Do I make  
myself clear?!  
  
Tenkou:: Thinks dark thoughts, but says nothing more::  
...................  
  
Chiriko: I agree completely. Let's finish getting ready, and get  
the show rolling!  
  
Chichiri: Yes, we should continue, you know.  
  
::He goes back to getting his costume on.::  
  
::There is a banging on the door::  
  
Koji: Knock knock. Who's there? It's Genrou's buddy Koji, here with  
the extra makeup that was ordered. Oh, Koji, come on in! Thank you.  
:: The door opens to reveal Koji already in his costume,  
bearing a tray with extra makeup on it, and everyone sweatdrops at  
his self-held-conversation.::  
  
Patti: Anyway, we'll let you guys finish getting ready...  
:: The two authors turn to go::  
  
Nyan Nyans:: Popping out of the air and jumping about excitedly::  
We'll help! We'll help! Make you look cool! Fix up your makeup!  
We'll..... AIIIIEEEeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!  
::The Nyan's are booted out of the room into orbit by  
Taiitsukun::  
  
Taiitsukun: Humph. We can manage just fine without your help, thank  
you!  
  
Drachen Yami: Ummm.... Taiitsukun... we needed those Nyan Nyan's for  
the Lullaby League, and you just booted them into orbit! Now what  
will we do?!  
  
Chichiri:: Cheerfully:: ^_^ Don't worry, you know! I'll get them  
down in a minute, you know, so don't you worry about a thing, ok?  
  
Drachen Yami:: Relieved:: Thank you, Chichiri. ^_^  
  
Patti: Yes, thank you, Chichiri.  
:: They leave::  
  
Tamahome:: Just waking up:: Thank goodness they're gone. Hey! They  
never answered my question!!  
  
Miaka: Why do you still care so much about money anyway, Tamahome?  
  
Tamahome: Because I have to take care of you now, don't I?  
  
Miaka:: Dreamy like:: Tamahome.......  
  
Tamahome:: Dreamy like:: Miaka.......  
  
Tasuki:: Makes gagging noises::  
  
Everyone else sweatdrops...............  
  
Introducing the Wizard of Suzaku  
  
Drachen Yami/Narrator:: Steps up onto the lighted stage into the  
spotlight and takes a deep breath:: Ladies and gentleman, boys and  
girls, anime fanatics, Wizard of Oz and Fushigi Yugi fans alike.... We  
are proud to present..... DADADADA!!!!!  
THE WIZARD OF SUZAKU!!! The characters of Miss Watase's  
popular Fushigi Yugi manga, video and OVA series have been gathered  
and cast in this story for your entertainment purposes! We will  
even be adding in scenes that the producers cut out of the original  
version of the Wizard of Oz due to funding and length problems, as  
well as some other elements from other shows. So you'll be getting  
that extra bonus along with some Bishounen actors!  
  
::Wild cheers and clapping::  
  
::Patti joins Drachen Yami on the stage::  
  
Patti: But just as a warning: We cannot be held responsible for  
accidental fits of favoritism... we are human, after all. By no  
means is the Wizard of Suzaku a part of that infamous genre of anime  
known as hentai. We will use perversions as we see fit. Nuriko!  
Nuriko! C-Can I have your autograph? Better yet, why don't you come  
a little closer...... ::Purrs::  
  
Drachen Yami: ^_^;;; Thank you, Patti! And with that in mind, we  
shall now hand the show over to that Bishounen and talented guy  
Chichiri and his comrades!!!  
  
Tomo:: Stage whisper from behind the curtain that carries through  
the theatre:: I told you she has a crush on him! And that the other  
girl does too! :: Cackles::  
  
Drachen Yami: =^_^= Eh.... Um....  
  
Patti:: Stifles a laugh:: =^_^= On with the show!  
  
Drachen Yami: Um... yes! On with the show!  
  
Drachen Yami and Patti: And so, without further ado, we present: The  
Wizard of Suzaku!!!! Enjoy!!!  
  
::Audience laughs, and claps wildly as the authors make their way  
off-stage:: 


	3. Somewhere Past the Light of Suzaku

First. Answers to Reviews and notes:  
  
This is my first time posting of Fanfiction.net, so let me know what you think so far, but please don't be too mean, ok? ^_^ Sapphiregirl Thanks for the encouragement! ^_^ My first review! I'm so happy. Now if everyone's reviews are like that, I'll be even happier! Any little input is appreciated. Ah, and yes, Nuriko is a boy pretending to be a girl. :D (Not that he'd mind playing the role, considering he's a cross- dresser already. ^_^ )  
Disclaimers are at the end. ^_^  
  
The Wizard of Suzaku  
  
Part 1: Somewhere Past the Light of Suzaku  
  
:: The curtain rises to reveal a purple-haired girl running down a dirt path with her rather large dog following::  
  
Narrator: Our story begins with a girl......  
  
Doriko: Hey! I'm not a girl!  
  
Narrator: Well, I'm sorry but that's the role you've been cast for...  
  
Doriko: Well, I guess that's OK. After all, I'm beautiful enough and I am still partly a woman at heart! ^_^.  
  
Patti: That's one of the things that are so endearing about him..... ^_^  
  
Narrator: o.O; Ahem, nooo comment. Anyway... the girl is running  
down the street from her neighbor, Mrs. Gulch's house.  
  
Doriko:: Looking over his shoulder:: I don't think she's following  
us, Ashitoto. *puff puff* But just you wait until I tell Aunty  
Emmiaka and Uncle Tamahenry about this! They'll take care of her for  
sure!  
  
Ashitoto:: Growls in agreement.::  
  
Doriko: She shouldn't be trying to get you like that, but that still  
doesn't give you any excuse to be chasing those disgustingly cute  
Nyan Nyan's like that!  
  
Ashitoto: Whine......  
  
Doriko: Oh well... let's just get home and tell the others about  
this, and I'm sure they'll solve the problem. ::Thinking as he  
runs:: Hmm... I bet that all she really needs is some beauty  
cream... I bet that would fix her sour disposition!  
  
::Sniggers from audience::  
  
Narrator: o.O Hehe. Ahem... anyway... So Doriko ran until he...  
er... she... reached her farm.  
  
Doriko:: Runs up to where his Aunt and Uncle were gathering eggs::  
Aunty Emmiaka! Uncle Tamahenry! Wait until I tell you about what  
Mrs. Gulchkun did to....  
  
Aunty Emmiaka:: Gathering eggs from under the chickens and putting  
them in a hat that Tamahenry is holding:: Doriko, can't you see that  
we're busy?  
  
Doriko:: Frustrated:: But Aunty Emmiaka!! She hit Ashitoto on the  
back with a rake, just because he was chasing her Nyan Nyan's! And  
he didn't know any better... :: he thought:: and he  
couldn't catch them anyway!  
  
Aunty Emmiaka: Oh, Doriko. I think that you're just making too much  
out of a little thing! Now go and play. Your Uncle Tamahenry and I  
are busy!  
  
Tamahenry:: Counting the eggs Emmiaka is putting into the hat::  
65.... 66.... 67...... Yeah... we could.... 68..... get... a lot of  
69...... money for these!  
  
Patti: -_-;;; Tamahome......  
  
Narrator: -_-;;; And so a much vexed Doriko went off in search of  
the farmhands, whom she was sure would listen to her. When she found  
them, Chichiri and Mitsukake were working on a wagon, and Tasuki was  
busy feeding the pigs.  
  
Doriko:: Going over to where Chichiri and Mitsukake were busy with  
the wagon::  
  
Mitsukake: Watch yourself, I'm going to lower it now.  
  
Chichiri: Go ahead, you know!  
  
Mitsukake:: Lowers the wagon, catching Chichiri's fingers in it::  
  
Chichiri:: An SD'd Chichiri comes out from under the wagon holding  
his hand and jumping around:: Daaaa!!! That really hurt you know!!!  
Ouch!!!! You got my fingers with that, you know!  
  
Mitsukake: Then you should have kept them out of the way.  
  
Chichiri: Well, you should watch where you put that thing, you know!  
:: Blowing on his hand:: That really hurt you know!  
  
Doriko: Are you ok?  
  
Chichiri: I'll be fine, you know. I'll just have to watch out next  
time, you know.  
  
Doriko: That's good. Do you know about Mrs. Gulchkun? She was so  
mean to Ashitoto today! She's always been after him!  
  
Chichiri:: Picks up a hammer and begins nailing the wagon back  
together:: Well, if you want to know what I think, I think you  
should just not go around her house, you know. If you go around,  
then Ashitoto won't chase her Nyan Nyan's, and then there won't be  
any trouble, you know! And no one will get hurt! You've just got to  
use your brain, you know!  
:: He grabs a nail and swings at it with the hammer, and hit's  
his hand.::  
OWWW!!!! THAT REALLY HURT YOU KNOW!!!!! o__o Just what is a twister anyway? He asked.  
  
Narrator: -_-;; *sigh* It's a very large, dangerous, and powerful windstorm in the shape of a funnel. It destroys everything in its path!  
  
Chichiri: 0.x Oh. That's not good, you know.  
  
Narrator: No, it's not.  
Anyway.... Chichiri, Tasuki, Mitsukake, Aunty Emmiaka, and Uncle Tamahenry had finished with the horses and other animals, and were getting into their storm shelter, as the twister loomed closer.  
  
Chichiri: Look, the 'Twister' is Looming clos....:: Pauses, noting the narrators raised hand, and SD's:: ;;.....er...I mean, The Twister is getting closer you know, and Doriko and Ashitoto are still out there, you know!  
  
Aunty Emmiaka: She could be in trouble out there!  
  
Mitsukake: What about Ashitoto?  
  
Aunty Emmiaka: Who cares? (He once killed Nuriko after all.)  
*o* DORIKO! DORIKO!!!  
  
Patti: That's right!  
  
Tasuki:: Yelling to be heard over the roaring wind:: C'mon Emmiaka! There's nothin' more we can do for her! We've gotta get under cover b'fore that Twister chews us up!  
  
Aunty Emmiaka: No! We have to wait for her!  
  
Uncle Tamahenry: I just hope that thing doesn't trash the house, it'll cost a fortune to repair it!  
  
All: Sweatdrop  
  
Chichiri:: Also yelling:: He's right, you know! There's nothing else we can do but hope she's safe you know! Doriko's not stupid! He'll be ok you know!  
  
Narrator: So Tasuki and Chichiri dragged the still-struggling and resisting Emmiaka back into the shelter and closed it. Meanwhile.......Doriko and Ashitoto have just about reached home. The wind is blowing very hard and there is a lot of debris in the air. The Tornado is roaring, coming ever closer.....  
  
Doriko:: Looking up:: Uh oh. That Twister is getting way too close for my comfort! Where is everyone anyway??  
  
Twister/Soi: HA! They're DEAD! And soon, you will be too 'Doriko'!! HA HA HA HA!!!!! Now FRY!!!! Your friends killed me and my Nakago! And now you will pay!!! :: Lightning splits the air as Soi unleashes her Seishi powers on Doriko, nearly hitting the frantically dodging Seishi/girl and Ashitare.:: FRY! FRY! HA HA HA!!!  
  
Narrator: O.O;; Umm... Soi.... That's not part of the script.....  
  
Twister/Soi: So what? Haven't you ever heard of improvising?? DIE!! FRY!!!! HA HA!!  
  
Narrator: O.O SOI!! You're not supposed to kill them!!!  
  
Twister/Soi:: Ignoring The Narrator:: Die!  
  
Doriko:: Has been frantically dodging debris and lightning, and is rapidly tiring; Ashitoto as well.::  
  
:: The audience begins to worry, as the lightning is starting to go offstage..... and they're starting to think that all of them are about to bite the bullet::  
  
Fan: Hey! Someone make her stop before she kills us all!  
  
Narrator: SOI!!! -_-;; :: Upon still being ignored, The now very ticked-off narrator blasts the Frenzied Soi with a blast of her super author-ess powers strong enough to destroy the tornado and send Soi flying.:: Soi! You are a TWISTER! NOT a fire Dancer or Lightning-goddess! You are a TWISTER! You blow people away with wind or impale them with debris! NOT Fry them with Electricity! And Killing Doriko and Ashitoto is NOT in the Script!  
  
Soi: * OUCHIE!* You're gonna pay for that! My vendetta was with the Suzaku warriors, but since you expressed an interest..... :: Pause:: In any case, where's the fun in that story line??  
  
Narrator: -_-;; Right. If you say so. But if you keep threatening me, I'm going to have you grounded, and then you'll go back to floating about in the spirit world! And in any case, this is the best we could do for you! We could always get a replacement for you. This is a very popular position, you know. So unless you want that, I suggest that you clean up your act and stick to the script!  
  
Soi: *grumble*  
  
Narrator: Well? Are you going to stay in character or not?  
  
Soi: * grumble* FINE! But I'll deal with you later! You're not going to get away with that blast you hit me with!  
  
Narrator: O.O;; Umm...(help)...right....Just remember; NO KILLING!!!! They're supposed to LIVE!  
  
Patti: And you just can't kill my Nuriko-sama.......  
  
Narrator: Or my Chichiri.... ^_^  
  
Soi: *grumble* Yes, I remember. :: Starts up the tornado again and  
chases Doriko and Ashitoto to the house.::  
  
:: The audience breathes a sigh of relief and comes out from under  
their seats::  
  
Narrator: ::To the audience:: Y'know, that wouldn't have done you  
any good anyway, those seats are metal...  
  
Audience: O.O  
  
Doriko:: Now that he didn't have to constantly dodge lightning  
bolts, he was able to reach the house fairly quickly, with Ashitoto  
close behind:: Aunty Emmiaka!!!! Where are you?  
  
He fought his way against the wind, and made his way up to the  
porch of their house. When he managed to get the screen door open,  
the strong winds jerked it from his grasp and carried it away. He  
ignored this, and made his way through the rooms of the house,  
calling for Aunty Emmiaka.  
  
Doriko: Aunty Emmiaka!!! Aunty Emmiaka!! Where are you?!  
  
Narrator: Upon not finding her in the house, Doriko made her way  
back outside to the storm shelter, and banged on it.... but there  
was no answer...no one could hear her over the sound of the  
approaching twister. And so, Doriko and Ashitoto made their way back  
into the house, and into Doriko's room, where she fretted over what  
was going to happen next.......  
  
::As Doriko stood in front of the window, the whole house suddenly  
began to shake as the twister found the house, and the window  
suddenly flew into the room, hitting Doriko, and knocking him out.::  
  
Narrator: When Doriko finally came to, she felt as though her whole  
world was spinning..... and upon looking out of the window she found  
that that was just what it was doing...... and there were people and  
animals flying past her window.....  
  
Doriko: Oh my... we must be up inside the twister, Ashitoto!  
::He looks out the window, and looks over at Ashitoto::  
  
We should do something..... what should we do?  
  
Ashitoto: Grrrwlll.....  
  
Doriko: Good idea! I'll call for help. ::He grabs a phone, and dials  
the police::  
  
Hello? Police? I'm inside my house right now, and I'm stuck up  
inside a twister!!! ::Looks out window:: O.o.;; And * we've got cows  
right now!!! ::He said, watching as a cow flew by the window::  
Uh... maybe I should call back.......  
  
Narrator: ^_^;;; Anyway....... as Doriko looked out the window,  
she saw the mean old lady Mrs. Gulchkun riding a bike outside her  
window. As she watched, however, the mean woman turned into an ugly  
old witch riding a broomstick..... and at this point, the house was  
spinning so fast that it made her and Ashitoto dizzy, and they  
passed out........ as the twister carried them into a strange  
land.........  
  
End of Part 1  
  
I do not own the movie Twister I do not own Fushigi Yuugi I do not own The Wizard of Oz  
Thank you. ^_^ Those are my disclaimers for the day. :Ds 


	4. Meeting the Scarecrow

AN: ::All teary-eyed and overly dramatic **Mask style:: Wow!! They  
like me! They really like me!!! * sniffles and wipes at eyes *And  
here I was worried that no one would like my story.. ^_^  
  
Kurama-Chan: Thanks! I will. Provided I get lots of reviews, even if  
they aren't nice ones.  
Sapphiregirl: Then you were the only smart one in the audience so  
far! :D Don't worry, Tasuki will be making his appearance soon  
enough. He's got a major role here soon. ^_^  
Sister of Darkness: Ah. Soi torture is always good. She might just  
have to make a reappearance since everyone seemed to like her part  
so much. ^_^  
  
Part 3: Meeting the Scarecrow  
  
Narrator: And so Doriko and her dog Ashitoto made their way down the  
Yellow Brick Road, walking for what seemed to be an eternity...  
until they came upon a four-way intersection in the road, and that  
posed a serious dilemma for our heroine. For if she took the wrong  
turn, she could get lost forever, and then she would never see the  
Wizard and get home...........  
  
Doriko: Oh no! This is just fine and dandy... one wrong turn could  
get us hopelessly lost, and then we'll be just as ditzy as Aunty  
EmMiaka! What do we do now, Ashitoto? Which way do we go??  
  
Voice: Pardon me, but that way is a very nice way, you know.  
  
Doriko: Who said that?  
  
Ashitoto: :: growl-barks at scarecrow in the field::  
  
Doriko:: Looks up at the scarecrow, then admonishes Ashitoto:: Don't  
be silly, Ashitoto, scarecrows don't talk! Now use that nose of  
yours to sniff out the right path!  
  
Voice: It's pleasant down that way too, you know!  
  
Doriko:: Looks up:: Call me crazy, but wasn't that scarecrow just  
pointing the other way?  
  
Chiricrow: Or some people do go both ways, you know. ::Crosses his  
arms so that he's pointing in two different directions::  
  
Doriko:: Surprised:: Oh! You do speak!! But you're not making much  
sense.... do you know what you're saying?  
  
Chiricrow:: Shakes his head solemnly, then nods it.::  
  
Doriko: Are you doing that on purpose? Can't you make up your mind?  
  
Chiricrow: That's just it, you know. I can't make up my mind,  
because I haven't got one! Only straw, you know.  
  
Doriko: Well, how can you talk if you haven't got a brain?  
  
Chiricrow: I don't know.... but some people who don't have brains do  
a lot of talking, you know.  
  
Doriko: I suppose you have a point there. You kind of remind me of  
Aunty Emmiaka. Oh! We haven't been properly introduced, have we?  
  
Chiricrow: Why no, we haven't, you know!  
  
Doriko:: Curtsy's:: My name is Doriko, and I'm pleased to meet you!  
  
Chiricrow: How do you do, you know?  
  
Doriko: Very well, thank you. (Although I'd be even better if I  
didn't have to hang around this slobbering, stinky loser! -_-.) ::  
Gestures at Ashitoto, who snarls at him:: Urk...... How do you do?  
  
Chiricrow: oh, not very well at all, you know. It's not very  
comfortable being stuck with a pole up your back, you know.  
  
Doriko: You're right, that doesn't sound at all comfortable! Maybe I  
can help! I'll try to get you down!  
  
Narrator: So the kind-hearted Doriko went to help the Bishounen blue-  
haired scarecrow.  
  
Doriko: -_-.;;; :: Whispered to Chiricrow:: I guess she really does  
like you....  
  
Chiricrow: ::looks embarrassed... and sweatdrops::  
  
Patti: Nuriko!!!! ::purring::  
  
::Audience sweatdrops::  
  
Doriko: o.O. ...........Anyway....... how do I do this?  
  
Chiricrow: Now, I'm not to bright about this, you know, but I think  
that if you just yank on the nail in the back......  
  
Doriko: Like this? ::Tugs on the nail:: Shoot, it won't come loose.  
And Ashitoto ate my Gecki-Gengar Chibi War Grenade Action Figure!!  
Now what am I supposed to do?!  
  
Chiricrow: Don't ask me, you know.  
  
Doriko: Maybe I can cut you off! ::Runs offset for a moment, then  
returns in a Michael Meyers mask with a REALLY huge knife as the  
scary music from 'Psycho' plays in the background from a small tape  
player he brought back with him, as the stage darkens, and eerie fog  
drifts in::  
  
Chiricrow: DAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ::Passes  
out from shock and fright::  
  
Audience:: Freaks out and resumes hiding under their seats, while  
others run in a mad panicked stampede for the exits::  
  
Narrator: NURIKO!! CUT THAT OUT! YOU'RE SCARING OUR AUDIENCE  
AWAY!!!! Just pull the stupid nail out already!!  
  
Doriko ::Yanks on the nail, and ends up pulling the entire post out  
of the ground, with the Scarecrow still on it::  
  
Chiricrow: Daaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ::Waving his arms around  
frantically in SD form::  
  
Patti: All right Nuriko!!!  
  
Doriko: O.O. ::Poses all innocent like:: Ooops, my bad...sometimes  
I don't know my own strength!!!! ^_^.;;;; ::Still holding onto the  
post, he pulls on the nail, and Chiricrow falls off::  
  
Ashitoto:: Snickers::  
  
Chiricrow: My, it's great to be free you know!!!! :: Dances around a  
bit clumsily and falls over the fence to land heavily:: Daaaaa!!!  
That really hurt, you know!  
  
Doriko:: Shrieks:: Oh!!  
  
Chiricrow: Did I scare you?  
  
Doriko: No, I just thought that you had hurt yourself!  
  
Chiricrow:: Dismayed:: But I didn't scare you?  
  
Doriko: No.  
  
Chiricrow:: To Ashitoto:: What about you, you know?  
  
Ashitoto:: Snorts derisively::  
  
Narrator: Translation: Yeah, right!!! You couldn't scare a fly!  
::To Ashitoto:: Be nice, or I'll have you fixed! What do you think  
of that?!  
  
Ashitoto: O.o ::Goes silent, and slinks off with his tail between  
his legs::  
  
Chiricrow:: Starts to say something, but then a crow comes and lands  
on him:: Go away, you know! Shoo! Scat!!! ::Miserably, to Doriko::  
See? I can't even scare a crow, you know! They come from miles  
around to eat from my fields and laugh at me, you know! Oh, I'm a  
failure because I haven't got a brain!!  
  
Narrator: Awww..... Well, I think you're pretty smart. and  
bishounen to boot. ^-^  
  
Crow:: Steals some of Chiricrow's straw, and flies off with it::  
  
Chiricrow:: Getting up:: Hey!! Give that back, you know!!!  
  
Crow:: Doesn't pay him any mind, it just flies around with the straw  
in it's beak::  
  
Chiricrow:: Chases after it, running around with his arms in the  
air:: Give that back, you know! :: He runs around, trying to catch  
the crow, until it lands somewhere in the cornfield. At that point,  
he executed an impossibly high jump right over the fence and the  
corn, landing amongst a large flock of crows, scaring them all into  
flight. There, he found his straw, which the crow had dropped, and  
he stuffed it back into his shirt. Then he repeated his impossible  
jump, and ended up near Doriko.::  
  
Chiricrow : That'll teach them, you know!  
  
Doriko: o.O. I guess it does! But what do you need a brain for? What  
would you use it for?  
  
Chiricrow: Do? Why, if I had a brain, I could --  
(sings)  
I could while away the hours,  
transforming into others  
Scaring their legs to butter,  
And their heads they'd be scratchin'  
While my plots were busy hatchin'  
If I only had a brain.  
I'd unravel every riddle  
For any individ'le  
Just to make new riddles,  
For all the individ'les.  
  
Doriko: With the plots you'll be hatchin'  
You'll leave everyone scratchin'  
If you only had a brain.  
  
Chiricrow: Oh, I could tell you why  
Tasuki's afraid of girls,  
And Tamahome loves his money..  
And Hotohori's thinking he's lovely.  
Then I could think of tricks I'd never thunk before,  
And then I'd sit -- and think some more.  
I could help to stop the Seiryuu,  
And be with my friends and you.  
I would not be just a nuffin'  
My head all full of stuffin'  
My heart all full of pain.  
I would dance and be merry...  
  
Chiricrow: Starts to dance, and ends up falling all over, running  
into the fences along the field, and bouncing off of them, only to  
hit another and repeat the process.  
  
Chiricrow: (sings)  
Gosh, it would be awful pleasin'  
To reason out the reason  
Mitsukake talks the way he chooses,  
And Tasuki's into his boozes.  
And Chiriko got all the smarts.  
When my thinking starts,  
Then perhaps I'll deserve you,  
And be even worthy erv you  
To spell away your perversions,  
If I only had a brain.  
  
::For that last crack, Chiricrow is knocked into unconsciousness by  
an irate Doriko/Nuriko::  
  
****************  
20 minutes later..  
  
Doriko: Wow! If all the scarecrows back home could do that, I could  
start a circus!  
  
Chiricrow: ... A circus?! Daaa.. I don't know about that, you know.  
  
Doriko: I can understand that. I'm going to the Wizard to see if he can get me home.  
  
Chiricrow: You're going to see a Wizard? Do..... do you suppose he'd  
give me a brain, you know?  
  
Doriko: I don't know... I bet he would if you asked him really nice.  
Only......  
  
Chiricrow: Only......  
  
Doriko: Only, I've got an ugly old witch mad at me, and there's no  
telling what she'll do to you if you go with me! She might even turn  
you into one of her disgustingly cute Nyan Nyan Minions!  
  
Chiricrow: Pooh! I'm not scared of a witch, you know! I'm not afraid  
of anything!! ::Pauses, and looks around, then leans toward Doriko  
confidingly:: Anything except a lighted match, you know.....  
::Shakes the straw on his arm:: But I'd face a whole box of them for  
the chance to get a brain, you know! Please take me with you! I  
won't be any trouble, you know! I don't eat a thing, and I won't try  
to lead, because I haven't got a brain! Won't you take me with you??  
::SD's and gives Doriko a mournful look::  
  
Narrator: =^-^= He is too cute when he does that.......  
  
Patti: But Nuriko looks better.......  
  
Narrator: He does not....  
  
Patti: Yes, he does!  
  
Narrator/Drachen Yami: He does not! Chichiri is way cuter!! ::Sticks  
tongue out at Patti::  
  
:: Audience, Doriko and Chichiri sweatdrop::  
  
Doriko:: Interrupting:: All right! Not that we don't like the  
attention, but we are trying to tell a story here!  
  
Narrator and Patti: Sorry......  
  
Doriko: Uh huh... :: To Chiricrow:: You can come along then!  
Uhhh..... your face is torn... I think you must have done it when  
you fell through that fence... does it hurt you?  
  
Chiricrow:: Eh? ::Fingers tear on his face:: Oh! That's no problem,  
you know! My face is fine, you know! I always carry a spare!!  
::Proceeds to triumphantly tear his face off, revealing the same  
face underneath:: Ta Daaa!  
  
Doriko and Audiance: O.O. GAH!! ::All pass out::  
  
Narrator:: Dissapointed sigh:: Why couldn't he take the mask off  
period?? It's a crime to cover a face like his....... ::Dreamy::  
  
Patti: You're impossible!!  
  
Narrator: So? You are too.  
  
Patti: Er....Let's just go on with the story.... ^_^;;  
  
*** A few minutes later, as the audience and Doriko recover, the  
narrator and Patti are still arguing over which of the two is more  
bishounen***  
  
Doriko:: To the two girls:: HEY!! Do you mind??  
  
Narrator and Patti: Sorry again...... ^_^;;;;  
  
Doriko: Those girls are too weird..... :: To Chiricrow:: To Emerald  
City, then?  
  
Chiricrow:: Offering Doriko his arm, after retrieving his Shakujou  
from the corn:: To Emerald City, you know!  
  
Narrator: And so Doriko and Ashitoto set off toward Emerald City  
with their new friend............ ^_^  
  
End Part 3  
  
Narrator: For those of you who don't know... I'm pretty sure that  
the word for Chichiri's staff is 'Shakujou' if I'm wrong about the  
spelling, or my translation... sorry.... ^_^;;; Disclaimers: I do not own The Mask  
I do not own Michael Meyers  
I do not own Psycho.  
I do not own Fushigi Yuugi  
I do not own the Wizard of Oz. And I think that's it. * checks * yep, that's it. TTFN!  
  
Pretty please review some more?? I'm not updating until I get at LEAST 10 new ones. But hopefully you'll all be nice and review more times than just 5. ^___________^ * thinks * Ooooh. I know! The 10th person to review gets to have their Fav. Fushigi Yuugi Char. All to themself for an hour to do anything they want with!  
  
Fushigi Yuugi cast: What?! Tasuki: Hey! I didn't agree to that!! Drachen Yami: Well, you're just going to have to deal with it, Tasuki, or We'll use our Super-Authoress Powers to turn you into a Munchkin, and feed you to Ashitoto! Tasuki: o.O;;; Errr.. Well, so long as they don't get too close, I guess I can deal with that. Other members of the FY cast: Yeah, but what about us? Drachen Yami: You'll have to go along with it too, or you'll suffer an even worse fate.. You'll have to be the personal servants of Taiitsukun and do whatever SHE says for a WEEK!!! All:: Gulp nervously:: Sure. no problem, just be nice to us! Tamahome: Yeah, and make sure you pay us too! Time is money, you know! Nuriko:: Sends Tamahome flying into a nearby lake:: And while you're at it, put that bozo into a Misers Anonymous group too..  
  
Drachen Yami and Patti: Anyway. that's it for now, please remember to review!! Suggestions are welcome! (Especially for each of their songs, those are hard to rewrite.) -__-;;; 


End file.
